We lost our edge there for a minute. They’re all up in arms. You fucking bunch of losers with your fucking cellphone pictures Fucking suck a dick. City of Brotherly Love. Rainbow flags. Comedian Bill Burr's SNL monologue addressed everything from coronavirus and being 'woke' to gay pride and cancel culture, noting he'd probably be 'canceled' after his opening jokes. You are this high above New Orleans. The full transcript of Bill’s monologue at the SNL is now available here In 2006 Bill Burr and many of the regular comedians of The Opie & Anthony Show were on The Traveling Virus Comedy Tour, hitting large venues around the nation. You’re listening to the egg heads, the people who we all cheated off of in high school, right? I SAID SUCK A DICK. OK. Everyone’s chained to their fuckin chairs and just start blowing your fucking brains out. I come out here with a fuckin gun, hollow tip bullets, and I just start fuckin shooting people. Ploughing ahead, let’s talk white women here. Partly because he was actually quite funny and partly because he made it through the gauntlet and didn’t back down. It's 2020. Coming to you straight from the Rialto Square Theatre in Joliet, IL to your seat at home! You all gonna go see Rocky 19. Fucking Rocky is your hero. That’s a little long, don’t you think? Wow, thank you. You people are on goddamn acid. I hope I hit a baby in the fuckin head. You guys stood by us toxic white males through centuries of our crimes against humanity, you rolled around in the blood money and occasionally when you wanted to sneak off and hook up with a black dude, if you got caught you said it wasn’t consensual. who told bill burr he, a straight white man, should try to tackle homophobia and racism in the worst way possible in his snl monologue — ً (@wyattswoods) October 11, 2020 Me listening to Bill Burr again, let me say this, there's absolutely no need to call white women bitches, because I rock with at least 47% of white women. He was born in 1907. It had to happen. You fuckin jackasses. I guess my grandparents were older. Listen. Just keep making the cookies.” Yeah. Dave Chappelle. Suck a fuckin dick. City started looking like a giant Bed Bath & Beyond, and then bam! You bunch of fuckin cocks. And this has always been a life long dream of mine to come here and host Saturday Night Live. Maybe you’ll win another one. CLEARLY it was the first Bill Burr experience for some people. I got your mothers. We got a great show for you guys everybody. Fuck all you motherfuckers and fuck the Flyers. Sir why are you screaming? All of yas…can line up with your Harold Carmichael fuckin jerseys, and one at a time you can all suck my dick. Thank you. I hope there’s a line of all of you guys getting fuckin car jacked and they take out their big black dicks and they just shove them right in your fucking mouths. That felt great. Tank tops! With my SUV in my heated seats. [boos] Thank you. All of you collectively SUCK a FUCKIN DICK. Suck a dick. You guys all look like surgeons with your masks on. You got fuckin Joe Frazier is from there but he’s black so you can’t fuckin deal with him, so you make a fucking statue for some 3 ft fuckin Italian you stupid philly cheese-eatin fucking jackasses. Who’s he your dad or something? What about not fucking interrupting me you jackass. With your red candy-striped faggot fuckin uniforms. Host Bill Burr does stand-up about the COVID-19 pandemic, cancel culture and white women.Saturday Night Live. I like people who wear masks. Yeah, the audience isn't full of Bill Burr fans like a normal show he would do. Right? You guys were here man. Fuckin be up here talking about Hitler. I’m fucking trying to deal with this bullshit. That’s what you did. What’s with all these people here?” And he was just like, “Oh, no, no. I’ll probably get canceled for doing that joke. But let’s go back in history here, okay? Someone tell him calling women "bitches" isn't funny It's 2020. And I’m doin ALL FUCKING SEVEN. What’s that? That’s not bad 12 minute rant. It’s your decision. There’s gay black people, they can celebrate from June 1st, July 31st, 61 days of celebrating. New York is back. He said things that we avoid talking about in … Bill Burr's opening monologue is just obnoxious and misogynstic. Larry the Cable Guy – Remain Seated (2020) – Transcript, Craig Ferguson: Just Being Honest (2015) – Transcript, Kevin Hart: Zero F**ks Given (2020) – Transcript, Sam Morril: I Got This (2020) – Transcript. The one fuckin kid that would actually go to college in this fucking crowd. Bill Burr is exactly the comic we DON‘T NEED RIGHT NOW. That’s what you did. 2 to the back of the head. What brilliant shit are you gonna fuckin tell me? Bunch of fucking losers. Original air date: October 10, 2020 Host Bill Burr does stand-up about the COVID-19 pandemic, cancel culture and white From the jump, the unruly Philly crowd set the tone of the night by booing the first comedian off the stage and then proceeded to give hell to all other comedians on the bill. I am so excited to be here. I don’t care. I got 4 minutes left. Is this what you want? 4 minutes left To fuckin talk about you CUNTS. Someone tell him calling women 'bitches' isn't funny,” wrote one commenter on Twitter. Bill Burr [Starts with SNL monologue intro] [Cut to SNL stage] [Band is playing music] Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Bill Burr. What do you think about that? Your team should be selling cotton candy in the fucking instructional league. Bill Burr had an amazing monologue on "Saturday Night Live." He ripped cancel culture coming for John Wayne and woke white women. Each and every one of you and somehow they just keep repeatedly cumming right in your fucking eyeballs, so that it builds up so much that your eyes fucking crust over. I was shooting a movie. I hate the way you eat with your little shitty ass subway. Didn’t have that when I was a kid. Throw out some topics Let’s talk about heart disease, something you’re all gonna fuckin die of. 1 month ago I heard some rumblings that this was some ghastly meltdown or highly controversial. Bunch of goddamn fucking losers. Bunch of racist fucking morons. I broke the mic stand. I don’t know. I hope that happens to you. You keep it simple. So, thank you so much for coming out during these difficult times. Thank you. Ah! And I hadn’t been here for like, 13 years and I immediately noticed how extra crowded this city was. Take out your grandparents. Weekend Update: Brett Kavanaugh and Dr. Ford Testify: Season 44 Episode 1, Weekend Update on the Government Shutdown, SNL Transcripts: Tom Brady: 04/16/05: Tom Brady’s Falafel City, SNL Transcripts: Chris Pratt: 09/27/14: NFL on CBS. Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Bill Burr. You got a fuckin ping pong team? The universe has to balance itself. It had to happen. Remember that had that whole season when they wore the slacks. Yeah! So, why don’t you shut up, sit down next to me and take your talking to. What are you taking a picture of E-Rock? You bunch of faggots. And it was about that for about 8 seconds. I really hope that happens. Oh Fuck all you people you ya know what you fucking losers, I hope you all fucking die, and I hope those fucking Eagles never win the Superbowl. The reaction to what he said undergirds white supremacy. 0% body fat. I really the title as “Bill Barr” and I was like wtf is he on SNL? You probably won’t even notice the fuckin difference. Don’t worry. Be the first to rate this post. This is probably the funniest SNL Monologue in a long time and it is no surprise that it offended the Twitter community. I’ve never heard so much complaining in my life from white women. I hope he snaps both his fuckin ankles the first goddamn game. Bunch of goddamn pansies. That’s great. That’s’ it I come out here with a fuckin gun right. Just listened to Bill Burr's opening monologue on SNL, then checked the Bill Burr hashtag on Twitter. You’re all gonna get fuckin cancer which is fantastic because all your fucking heads are shaved anyway no one’s even gonna notice. This doesn’t change anything. You fucking one bridge having piece of shit city that no one gives a fuck about. Dude I think he can win! Dude, black people were actually enslaved, they get February. Oh!” I didn’t know that. Booing Dom Irerra. Larry the Cable Guy is back to Git R Done. And then somehow white women swung their Gucci booted feet over the fence of oppression and stuck themselves at the front of the line. BILL BURR: SNL MONOLOGUE (2020) – TRANSCRIPT Host Bill Burr does stand-up about the COVID-19 pandemic, cancel culture and the “woke” white women. Listen, I don’t want to speak ill of my bitches here, okay? 7 Mother fucking minutes left. I do 3 minutes. I figure anyone who gets into an SNL taping is connected some how and there for the experience. The terrorists will never bomb you people ‘cause you’re fucking worthless and no one cares about you. Went to the Banana Republic, picked a 20 dollar shirt off the rack. Play the fucking records. Some other shit-assed team that’s never gonna win a championship. That’s what I do. You guys were phenomenal [Crowd Cheers] Oh no.. © 2020 Scraps from the Loft. View all posts by Don Roy King. “Did you hear what he said in that interview in Playboy in 1970? I never heard of it, right? For a group of people that were never enslaved? Fucking warehouse working, weed smoking, fucking disappointment to your mother. Just one after another. What do you want me to talk about. Things went south when the tour came to the Philadelphia. That’s what these people sounded like.” You never talk to your grandparents and brought up the wrong subject? Why don’t ya just get the fuckin Ice Capades down there you assholes. Yeah, had a great time. Do they even fuckin exist anymore? What do you have to say sir? That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Yeah. This gotta be fucking ridiculous. “My life is so hard. Because a … BILL BURR: SNL MONOLOGUE (2020) – TRANSCRIPT Host Bill Burr does stand-up about the COVID-19 pandemic, cancel culture and the “woke” white women. Take out your weak cousin with the asthma. Have a good night. Huh. I wish I was on his fuckin tour right now. I have been doing stand-up forever. I hate this fuckin city. What do you want? You and your fuckin Donovan McNabb shirt. Things went south when the tour came to the Philadelphia. There’s too many people. Stand-up comic and former “Breaking Bad” actor Bill Burr has ignited a Twitter firestorm — for mocking everyone from white women to gays in his … Here's why. You’re in the front row, you dumb fuck. It’s Pride month.” And I’m like, “What’s that?” I’m 52. Required fields are marked *. Jack White is here. Shall we? I’d grab you buy the fuckin hair but you don’t have any. Let’s talk white women. Ploughing ahead. Bring Tug McGraw back from the dead you fucking jackasses. I’m fuckin standing here. The full transcript of Bill’s monologue at the SNL is now available. 7 MINUTES left. I hope your mother has herpes in the center of her asshole and you go home tonight and lick it and get it on your tongue and some other horrific shit happens that involves cancer – all of you. What’s that sir? Wearing a grey face covering, the 52-year-old comedian hosted the second episode of … And speaking of dreams come true, did you see Rick Moranis got sucker punched on the Upper West side? Yes. This is probably the funniest SNL Monologue in a long time and it is no surprise that it offended the Twitter community. The nerve… where’s the camera at? By the time the 12 minute set (which Burr counted down every passing minute) was over, much of the crowd gave the comedian a standing ovation. I really hope all of you run into all those black people that you love so much here in Camden. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. Does it really have to come to this people? He goes, “It’s gay pride month.”And I was just like, “Oh!” Dude, you know when you’re just like, stuck in the matrix and you just can’t– [keeping his palm very close to his face.] What’s left, the Phillies that faggot ass team named named after a female horse. The nerve of you white women. So anyways back to the joke. That’s a fucking record. Get the peep show back in Time Square, old people can walk safely 40 blocks away. What’s that sir? I’m gonna be the little observational comedian here. Speaker Bill Burr: Thank you. Just to refresh your memory, the ‘woke’ movement was supposed to be about people of color not getting opportunities, things that they deserve, finally making that happen. #billburr #snl All of you. Bill Burr scores valid points on canceling the crop while trying to cancel ALL IN SIGHT. And then if you don’t wear a mask, that doesn’t bug me either. You know? Fuck all of you. I just blow all your fuckin brains out. Fuckin boo me 9 hrs. That’s the first time I said cunt. Alright listen I’m out of time. Someone tell him calling women "bitches" isn't funny #SNL You don’t know who the fuck he is. Your email address will not be published. Viewers may know Burr for playing Patrick Kuby in Breaking Bad, although he has also fronted comedy podcast The Monday Morning Podcast since 2007. When the artist before him was booed off the stage, Burr decided to go on the offensive. … Makes me feel comfortable that you’re wearing masks. I don’t know. Oh suck a dick. The last two minutes is gonna be my rider for the rest of this fucking tour. Getting booed by people sittin in the fucking grass. New York is back, baby. It’s June. Thank you so much. And I’m gonna laugh at your fucking funerals which is gonna be great. Fucking assholes. Please stick around, we’ll be right back. Burr ripped cancel culture coming for John Wayne, white women hijacking the “woke movement,” gay pride month in New York and much more. Amazing. Bill Burr's opening monologue is just obnoxious and misogynstic. And then somebody gives you that little nugget of information that just pulls it back? Also wtf is he talking about white women? Jesus Christ the goddamn people on this show are givin me shit. 2 MINUTES LEFT. It’s gonna be amazing. I hope the cheese melts your faces off. “Remain Seated,” his latest solo special, will show you why this Grammy nominated, multi-platinum recording artist, and Billboard award winner is at the top of his game. Stand-up comic and former “Breaking Bad” actor Bill Burr has ignited a Twitter firestorm — for mocking everyone from white women to gays in his first “Saturday Night Live’’ monologue. Bill Burr didn't hold back in his controversial opening " Saturday Night Live " monologue. I hope somebody takes a fuckin beer stein and just slaps you in the back of your zit infested fucking shoulders and your awful man tits hang. 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